Catching Up on Couple Time

by Pastor John Lohman

Have you ever noticed that there are essentially four different ways that we can structure our time as families?  Consider the following:  a.) alone time, b.) couple-time without the children, c.) one-on-one parent-child time (each parent spends time with each child), and, d.) family group time.

Over the years, while counseling individuals, couples and families, I have observed that oftentimes couple-time without the children gets short changed.  Most of us get adequate alone time (unless you are the mother of an infant or preschooler).  Then too, many families allow time for mom and dad to spend individual time with each of the children.  Also, many families spend an adequate if not disproportionate amount of time doing family group activities.  The risk here is that the family that stays together doesn’t stay together.

If you find that couple-time gets the short end of the stick in your family, allow me to make a suggestion:  spend a romantic evening together with your spouse.  In other words, spend some couple-time together, without the kids.  

Now, be aware that you need not lock yourselves into a candlelit dinner at the Top of the Plaza!  Whatever you do, be economical.  Keep it simple.  Most of all be creative.  The twin goals are that you and your spouse spend couple-time together and that you and your spouse enjoy yourselves.  Only the two of you knows what will fit the bill.

Finally, don’t get hung up over who will initiate “couple-time” activities.  We cheat ourselves out of all kinds of joy when we wait and wait for our spouse to come up with a plan.  So, give yourself and your spouse a gift – take the initiative and then experience the joy that God will bring your way.